Well I’m off again. And this time for good.
I came back last summer from my near two years of travel and I had a plan. I was going to settle. Get a job doing something I wanted to do. Save money. Buy a house. Do all the things proper grown ups do. But it just didn’t work out that way…
I had trouble finding a job in Brighton, working in the animal welfare charity sector. They all tended to be based further afield, and my god I wasn’t going to live in London. I had trouble trying to invest. My heart was really not into buying a house. I knew I should be ‘smart’ and buy a place, even if was just to rent out. But something deep down just didn’t feel right. I just didn’t want to. I had no enthusiasm.
I plodded along, spending time at home, chilling with Angel and Buffy (my mum and her dog not the vampire and the slayer). I did some work here and there to earn money. I dove into volunteering for BrightonSoup (which I love and miss!). I tried looking for work to no avail. Something wasn’t working. I was crashing at my mum’s and we were packing up the place we had been in for 18 years as she was moving. Even then I wasn’t even making any sort of attempt to find a place of my own. Which looking back, was pretty telling..
Then I had an enlightening conversation, and everything fell into place. It’s ok not to conform to societies rules. To get worried about finding a job, saving money, buying a house, finding a partner, having a baby, all the while still wanting to travel the world and wondering how in hell were you going to fit it all in. I love to be settled, but I didn’t want to settle and that confused me.
Someone told me that it was ok to spend my money on experiences and learning. That’s its ok not to settle down in just one place, and ‘follow the rules’. That I could do what I wanted, and where I wanted. My world shifted. That was it. In the space of half an hour I had decided I was moving to Asia. I could still settle down, sporadically. I could still use my money to invest, in myself. I could still work and follow my chosen carer path, abroad. And I could travel and learn whilst I did this all. I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders, my heart restarted, and I was energised again. Asia had been calling me back since I left, and now I could confidently return, knowing I was doing the right thing, and following my dreams. We all have our own internal GPS system. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. If it does, you need to be doing it.
Once I made that decision it was a pretty quick turn around. I found a small animal welfare charity in Bali I could give my time, to whilst I explored. And I secured myself an internship for an animal rights organisation in the Philippines. Although I knew in my heart that this was my new path it was difficult when crunch time came. Up until a few days before I had no feelings about it.. I’d been way too busy to even think about going, and what I was going to do. People always asking if I was excited, and me replying that maybe it would hit me on the plane. But the night before I left I had some family fun time. And as I was saying goodbye to my uncle. It hit me. Like a ton of bricks. I was leaving. And the next two days I just felt sad. Sad to be leaving all my family and friends again. Sad as I had only just got them back. I somehow skipped the getting excited part.. but I’m sure that will come!
So here I am. This blog will just be about me. My love of travelling. My love of vegan food. My love of animals. My love of the planet. And I hope I can inspire people along the way.